Eliot missed him in his listing

Of  different types of cats

Practical isn’t the word I’d use

In fact, he’s a bit of a prat.

Misjudging and mistiming

Completely misses the chair

A startled blinking heap on the floor

With a distinctly affronted air.

He stumbles and falls, then licks his balls

In a vain attempt to distract

I meant to do that all along!

No really, my pride’s intact!

While other cats can balance

With perfect control and poise

On fences, on railings, in trees and at home

Without falling or making a noise;

He walks into solid objects

I don’t mean to be unkind

I’ve never seen another cat

Who could strangle himself on a blind.